A Little Story of Endurance and What it Can Bring

I tried to calm my anxious thoughts as the exhaust fumes hung heavy in the air. “This time, it’ll be okay; you’ll be fine. We will get moving soon, relax, breathe, and try not to inhale.” But instead of moving out into the open, we puttered toward the others and idled alongside them. Despite the early hour, I already felt the sun scorching the back of my neck. The heat, fumes, and swaying motion were beginning to create perfect conditions for an unpleasant upheaval. My eyes darted back and forth from the horizon to the other boats, sputtering and see-sawing as the waves kept sloshing.   I feared I was going to lean overboard and contribute to the sea.

Thankfully, the fish started to bite, and though the medication we had taken earlier had made us drowsy, we would quickly pop up from our seats to reel in our catch. We were filled with excitement, laughter, and celebration. Unfortunately, the drowsiness was soon replaced by nausea, and someone would lean overboard to offer a gift to the mighty sea. A few of us remained intact; I steadied myself; I thought, “Ignore them. Don’t look, don’t listen! Yes, they are your children, but they don’t need your hand on their forehead or a cool towel on their neck. They’re fully grown and can throw up by themselves!” But it was no use; as the wave of nausea crushed me, I also brought my offering.

The good thing about releasing your contents to the sea is the relief afterward. The nausea subsides, and you can engage once again. There we were, all swaying back and forth, trying our best to enjoy this outing; one lucky one was sleeping with a hat over his eyes, and others sat with hunched shoulders, eyes narrowed toward the horizon, holding weak smiles.  My husband was the only one fully present, standing upright at the helm with his face towards the open sea, fully engaged and basking in the moment. I was flabbergasted. Nothing phased him; he can endure the harshest conditions except soggy bread, but that story is for another time.  To be fair he did confess that it was challenging to have a good time when everyone else was throwing up. He felt terrible for us, but I couldn’t tell it. He looked too content to me!  Mulling this over, I heard the captain announce that we could extend our four-hour trip to six hours for only $65 more.  “Absolutely not!” I yelled above the sputtering engine.  I had chosen to be present, find contentment…persevere…celebrate, endure, and repeat but now time was up!

How about you? Are you struggling to endure? Are you trying to soldier on and be content while waiting for something to change? Some things in life can and should change, and some things we have no power to change, like the loss of our son.  Grief can make living a “normal” life difficult, but it isn’t a problem to fix.  As my husband often mentions, grief is a layer of life, as are celebration, hope, and love. We don’t choose the layer of grief but it is part of living on this earth. Give me a sticky, sweet, cotton candy bland life.  I don’t desire the salt of tears and lament, though I can attest that they bring out the full flavor of life, highlighting how precious it truly is.   So, while I am here, I want to be present and in the moment.  I don’t want to endure by watching the clock until Jesus takes me home; I want to live life fully and approach the day with hope and truth.  But honestly, sometimes I do find myself watching the clock.  Am I being contradictory? Yes, I am.  I am learning what it means to endure.

And wrapping up the fishing story, later that evening, we reminisced about our morning with some good laughter. It not only added a new layer of happy memories for our family but also a dose of character development for me and some great fish for dinner. Would I go on that fishing trip again? Yes, I would. But not on any other one. So, please don’t ask.

Romans 5:3 We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance. 4 And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation. 5 And this hope will not lead to disappointment. For we know how dearly God loves us, because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love.