Stopping in mid-stride, I froze with horror. Fear gripped my throat, and the hair on my neck prickled. I did not belong here. How did this happen? What was wrong with me? What kind of idiot was I? Screaming silently, I told myself to pull it together and Get out! Don’t make a sound, but move! If I could get out undetected, all would be well, but if I was found, how would I explain? I quickly turned on my heels, slipped through the living room, into the kitchen, past the laundry, to the open garage, and finally across the drive. Whew! I had made my way out. No yapping dog, no one yelling to call the cops, nor the click of a trigger alerting me that I had really messed up. They hadn’t even known I was there. But as I made my way to my vehicle, chuckling to myself that I could write a book on my misadventures, a car pulled up slowly, and a young girl got out, staring at me quizzically. “Can I help you?” She asked. “No… I replied, incredibly embarrassed; I just got a little lost and mistook this house for a friend’s house”. And this was true. I had thought it was my friend’s house, and the garage was wide open, as I was told it would be. I had walked right in! I had walked right into a complete stranger’s house!
Have you ever felt completely out of place?
Girls, have you ever walked into the ladies’ room only to see a urinal or, worse yet, a man using it? And then did your body freeze while your mind screamed at your stupid legs to move, but they couldn’t because they were just too stunned? Did your spouse drop you off at the grocery store so you could grab a few things while he and the kids stayed in the van? Did you return, slide the door open, sling the groceries in only to find a wholly different and bewildered family staring back at you?
Do you know what that feels like? It feels like you don’t belong. It feels that way because YOU DON’T belong there, in that place, at that time.
There are many reasons to feel like we don’t belong, such as being the new one, the inexperienced one, the old one, the young one, the rule follower, the black sheep, the odd duck, the emotional one, the deadpan, the smart one or the spacey one. We can feel misunderstood or overlooked even amongst our closest friends. We may want to ask ourselves, “Okay then, if I don’t belong here, where do I belong?”
Life’s changes can make you feel out of place as well. For the first year or so after losing our son, I could not relate to my friends talking about everyday life. I wanted to connect with them but did not care about paint colors or who was running for office. I felt so alien. I especially felt out of place at church. I didn’t know what to do with my pain in such a joyful setting, and God seemed so far away at times. It may sound like I know where I belong now, but I still struggle. Maybe a lot of us do.
The truth is that you do belong, and you have something precious to contribute to your circle, community, and world.
You were created in the image of God, given a purpose and a place in this world. You were given gifts, talents, and abilities, which are layered upon your life experiences, giving you the most unique perspective. Think about how incredibly unique that makes you. God gives us the choice of how to use our lives, whether for good or evil, to point to God or point to ourselves, whether to share or to hide away. Perhaps it comes down to trusting God with what we have been given and what has happened in our lives. Will we bloom, or will we shrivel?
Can you trust in God’s love and beautiful plan for you, even if life seems wildly out of control or painful right now? Sometimes, it can be a real challenge to trust Him when life seems far from beautiful; tell him your doubts and fears. He is waiting with love and understanding.
Dear Heavenly Father, we come to you with our broken hearts, shattered dreams, confusion, and doubt. We want to trust you during this time. Please, Lord, as we take even the smallest step of faith, meet us in a way that strengthens our trust and renews a fire in our weary souls. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
Genesis 1:27: “So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them.”
Ephesians 2:10: “For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago”.
Proverbs 3:5-6: “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.”
Thanks again, Ann.