A Time to Heal

"There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens: a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot, a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build, a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance, a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them, a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing. a time to search and a time to give up. a time to keep and a time to throw away, a time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak, a time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace." Eccl 3:1-8

Cardinals, juncos, blue jays, sparrows, and tufted titmice clamor for seeds outside my window. Some gather at the bird feeder, quickly eating and scattering loose seeds to the earth below, while the birds on the ground happily peck at what has fallen in front of them. Some waiting their turn look puffed up like little balls. Bustling with activity, they feed for the day.

But beyond the bird feeders, across the snow-covered yard, lies the garden. The old wheelbarrow is turned belly up, resting for the season. The garden lies quiet and solitary under a blanket of white. The gate has been left open since last fall, and for now, the ground rests. But soon, it will be time to amend the soil, till the hard crust, and plant seeds for a harvest.

Some seeds need to lie dormant for a while. It may seem as if nothing is happening—no life, no movement, no promise. The conditions must be right. There needs to be sunshine, rain, and fertile soil. However, there also needs to be a time of darkness in order for them to germinate best. I was surprised to read that this is a time when they grow significantly. Once the seedlings emerge, they require plenty of light—about 16 hours a day! They remain tender and fragile, but with the right conditions, they develop into beauty and strength serving a purpose to benefit many other species.

Whether birds are busy making the most of what is before them or the garden waits for tending, nature seems to move at its own pace, accepting each day as it comes.

My healing reflects this pace, maybe yours does too. It has been a long winter, and some days, I am taking in and scattering seeds of promise, while other days, I feel dormant under the heaviest blanket, waiting for my soul to be stirred. The book of Ecclesiastes states, “There is a time for everything and a season for every activity under the heavens. So while I have been in a long season of mourning, I realize that I am also in a time of healing.

Anniversaries of loss are a part of my calendar and a couple of days ago marked the first anniversary of losing my mom. I spent the morning watching videos, nostalgically reliving moments with her during her last years. The light in her eyes dimmed as time progressed; I could see it in the selfies I took during every visit. I cherish these pictures.

Later that day, I took the unfinished paint-by-number of pale pink blooms from the shelf and started in again to fill in the small spaces with paint. I bought the kit a few years ago, knowing her time on earth would be short, and painting peonies helped me honor her memory. She used to cut the flowers in May and place them on the kitchen table. Their fragrance will forever remind me of her.

I haven’t finished the painting yet, but the snow on the ground and the birds outside my window remind me that the pace of completing a painting, scattering seeds, or healing from loss is not one I set; rather, it involves yielding to the loving touch of my Savior’s hand. All may seem still and dormant in the dark moments, but it is during this stillness that allowing trust to grow builds strength and brings peace. A time of significant growth is happening as I allow Him to amend how I use the time I’ve been given, break through the hardness of my heart, pour His living water into my parched shell, and remind me that the promise of renewal is here. For while there is “a time to mourn” there is also “a time to plant,”” a time to laugh,” and “a time to dance: