Treasures Still Shine in the Darkness

The nights were still frigid, making us shudder when we crawled from under our warm comforter to scuttle 200 yards to the outhouse. My husband and I had hitched up our tiny camper and driven deep into the heart of Texas, seeking to boondock near Big Bend National Park.  We were alone and far from home. But the canvas of inky black stretching above seemed to fade as twinkling stars appeared to be celebrating, some shooting across the vast expanse. The Milky Way formed a distinct band of pale white glowing against the night. 

“Turn off your flashlight,” he whispered.

I let my eyes adjust. Jeff was right; there was no need for artificial light with the heavens lit up as they were.

When life turns dark, life’s treasures shine brighter. 

In the days, months, and years following the loss of our youngest child, we have faced some of our darkest times. Each year brings the anniversary of losing Josh, as well as his birthday.  These days are some of the most difficult, so we left Kansas one early spring and headed to Texas to honor him by hiking and camping.  We found the gifts of solitude, golden days, and shimmering stars particularly comforting.

We continue to find treasures in bleak moments, which can sometimes overwhelm us. The gift of a hug is held longer, time in nature becomes more precious, and being fully present in a conversation or activity is savored. Who knows if a chat, a hug, or a moment will be the last? We’ve found we can respect one another’s differences more gracefully. For instance, Jeff and I sometimes grieve differently. If one of us needs solitude while the other needs the company of others, we can honor that. Some situations now seem insignificant, like who cares if the garbage bin didn’t make it to the curb on time or the house is messy when the doorbell rings?

Reading these statements back, I wince and whisper to myself, only partially true, girl; you are still drawn to focus on things that don’t matter. I have not emerged from the long, dark tunnel of grief a “better” person. I still have days when I question God’s goodness and grapple with self-protection, pride, and isolation. However, it has become crystal clear to me that the things of this world are temporary, and there will come a day when my faith shall become sight. Embracing this truth brings me greater hope – more than anything else can.

In darkest times, God is still good and the giver of good gifts

In the book of Isaiah, God demonstrated his sovereignty over uncertain times by giving treasures to the Persian king Cyrus. God tells him:

I will give you treasures in the darkness, riches stored in hidden places, so that you may know that I am the LORD, the God of Israel, who summons you by name.” Isaiah 45:3  

Have you seen precious gifts from God in your darkest times? I’ll be vulnerable here: I do not always notice them. Sometimes, the pain is too intense and I don’t look up or around. But God still holds me in those moments, and He will hold you, too. If you are in a dark season, my heart aches for you.  Focusing on the treasures in your life may not remove your dark skies, but asking God, with expectation, to help you see those gifts will reveal that He is faithful. He is with you.  Even spotting a small weed growing through a crack in the sidewalk can be a gift. While we may only notice the hard, gray concrete surrounding it, focusing on the delicate flower still blooming despite its harsh conditions can remind us of hope.

Back home in our city, the light from streetlamps, homes, and businesses dulls the brightness of the stars. I step outside, look up, and find it difficult to see what is above. Yet those stars remain overhead, shining and twinkling, praising our God, whether seen clearly against the desert sky or only vaguely. Psalm 19:1-2..

Life’s challenges can weigh us down. We may endure incredible hardships, yet the stars sing, the heavens declare God’s glory, and we are given the gift of sight. Darkness cannot take that away from us. Though it may try to shroud the light of God, the darkness only makes that light more brilliant and holy. For those of you in your darkest time, I pray you experience the treasures of life glowing more intensely as you courageously walk in step with Jesus. 

As I continue my journey, I want to continually seek God’s goodness, whether in the dark of night or the brightest day; I want to hold on to the truth of John 1:5, and I hope you will, too.

The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it. (NIV) John 1:5